Fathers' Day Funnies

May 18, 2013, was my dad's last day on this earth. You would think that nine years later, the grief would be gone. Well, those of you who have lost a loved one dear to your heart know that is not the case. Grief comes in waves. Instead of dwelling on the fact that today is another Fathers' Day without my earthly father, I want to talk about some of the funny things my dad would say and did.

Last month, I saw a mug that says, "We used to live in your balls. Happy Father's Day." I could not stop laughing. One time, Dad told me that I came from his loins. I was an adult when he said this. He liked saying things to get a reaction out of others, especially me, his daughter.

In high school, some boy said he was going to call me, but I wasn't counting on that happening. It was around 8 that night and no phone call. Before I went to the bathroom, I said to anyone in the house who was listening, "If this guy calls, just tell him I'm not available."

While I was in the bathroom, the phone rang and I heard Dad say, "She's in the bathroom." Maybe, one of my friends called. At least, I hope that was the case. Nope. After I got out of the bathroom, Dad informed me that guy called.

"Why did you tell him I was in the bathroom?" I whined. "Didn't I just say to tell him I'm not available?"

I don't remember what Dad said because that was so many years ago. He probably laughed and Mom might have scolded him.

In 2010, Dad hired a local company to install an air-conditioning unit in our house. When I came inside, a few of the workers called me "Mrs. Hughes." I informed them, "Mrs. Hughes, my mother, isn't here. I'm the daughter." Dad was sitting at the kitchen table and did not say anything. Later, I said to him, "Did you want these men to think I was your wife?"

In 201I, I was dealing with guy drama at 35. Dad and I were driving to another town for the day. I was doing the driving which was a good thing that day. While I talked about some guy who smothered me with too much attention, Dad started laughing. Why was my dilemma so funny to him? He said to me, "For years you kept talking about how you wanted a man and now that there is one in your life, you want to get rid of him."

"I know, Dad," I told him. "I did not expect that the next guy would be this clingy like my ex. Besides, I need some breathing room."

Dad still could not stop laughing hysterically and said, "I don't know what to tell you, sweetheart."

It was the irony of my situation that Dad thought was so funny. I had been single for nearly a decade since my divorce and hardly dated. I lived in a small town with very few age-appropriate single men who were Christians. Well, this single, Christian man happened to pop up in my life at some church-type function. He was nice and at first, I liked that he paid attention to me, but I just did not have feelings for him. He came on way too strong by calling me several times a day and had invited me to his place for dinner. Since we were just getting to know each other, I was not comfortable spending time alone with him at his place. Even though I had been divorced a long time, I was still recovering from the trauma of the abuse I endured in my marriage.

Dad could always turn an unpleasant situation into something more bearable. His humor is one of the many things about him I will always miss.