#YouAreEnough30 Blog Challenge: Days 23-25

Day 23: Today is my 40th birthday! Write about a milestone or significant birthday.

November 23, 2018: Graduating with my bachelor’s degree at 40 has been a significant milestone in my life. It’s not the graduation ceremony that had been significant to me, but the lengthy journey it took for me to get there. Here’s my blog post from October 18, 2016 that foreshadows my graduation: http://dogmom1976.wixsite.com/piecesofme/single-post/2016/10/18/Lost-Treasures-Found

At the ceremony, I recall sitting next to a fellow Grand Canyon University (GCU) graduate. She said something like, “It took a long time to get here.” She did not have to explain herself to me because I felt the same way. My college journey was not the “traditional” kind where you immediately begin college after graduating from high school and graduate four or five years later with a bachelor’s degree.

Instead of starting college after high school graduation, I began cosmetology school three weeks later and finished the following year. At the age of 19, I thought I would do hair the rest of my working life. I believed I had it all figured out. Starting a cosmetology career was not easy for me due to being so young and living in such a small town where nearly everyone had already established their own hairdresser or barber. Maybe doing hair was not going to be the life for me, and while I was unemployed during the summer of 1997, I took one college class at the local campus. I figured I would get a traditional four-year degree, but I didn’t know what I wanted to major in or what career I wanted besides a career in cosmetology.

To make a long story short, while maintaining my cosmetology career for about 12 years, I attended college on and off for 19 years before I finally graduated with a BA in English Literature. During my college career, I obtained an associate’s in library science and a certificate in children’s literature. In spite of having the college degree, I still haven’t found a full-time job yet. I do have two part-time jobs and am focusing on my writing career. I still don’t have my life figured out yet, but I’ve got the paper to prove I’ve accomplished something: college.

Day 24: In Chapter Seventeen, I talk about “Moving On,” metaphorically and literally. Discuss a time when you found the courage to move on from a toxic situation, relationship, or environment.

November 24: In late March 2002, I gathered up the courage to leave an unhealthy marriage not knowing how my life would turn out. I’ve always liked a predictable routine and the security of knowing where I would be a few years from now. If I stayed in that marriage, I would be comfortable with routine and predictability, but the relationship got to the point where I never knew what kind of mood my husband would be in. I often walked on eggshells around him and did not want to provoke him to anger because somehow his moods were always my fault.

Once I got the courage to move out of the condo we shared, I knew that I would also have to move on geographically as well as metaphorically. Moving out geographically was the easy part after I made sure I could find an affordable apartment that accepted pets Claire’s (my basset hound) size. I also made sure that my ex would not know where I lived because I was worried that he would try to find me. I did not want him in my life due to the toxicity of the relationship.

As for moving on metaphorically, the process took time. Moving on did not just mean moving out of state two years after the divorce. I also had to let go of lots of baggage left from that relationship. On the outside, I appeared to have myself together. I put on the air that I was an independent career woman who did not need a man. I was doing just great on my own. Though I enjoyed being free from the ex and my life could be about Claire and me, I did want to remarry eventually and maybe have a family. Did I not truly move on until I was in another relationship? That’s what some people in my life thought. The only way to move on from the divorce was to be in another relationship. I disagree with that because I was single for 15 years before I started seeing my ex-fiance. I believed I had moved on long before that.

Everyone moves on with life differently. Moving on for me meant finding myself again and focusing on my relationship with God.

Day 25: In Chapter Eighteen, I become a “Church Chaser”! Share your own story of faith. Your beliefs, your journey to find a church or place of worship, and how believing in a higher power has impacted your life.

November 25, 2018: For the first seven years of my life, I was raised in the Catholic Church until my parents decided they did not want anything to do with organized religion. Throughout my childhood, I rarely attended church and didn’t know about any other kind of church except for the Catholic or Mormon Church.

It wasn’t until I was in high school that I began my church chasing career. When I got saved at the end of my junior year in high school, I attended the church where my friend’s uncle was the pastor. I enjoyed the freedom of the praise and worship, but felt the doctrine was too strict and I could not have feminist beliefs. Eventually, I quit attending church and throughout my time in my hometown until 1997, I attended a Lutheran church, a few Baptist churches, and finally returned to my roots of the Catholic church. In 1997, I moved back to my childhood city and tried several churches: a non-denominational church and a Unitarian Church (which I liked for a season). Eventually, I stopped going to church due to working Sundays. When my ex-husband and I were engaged, we attended a large non-denominational church he went to during his teenage years. We stayed at that church, until the divorce.

After my divorce, I attended another large denominational church, then moved back to my hometown. Over the years, I’ve attended charismatic, Assemblies of God (AG), non-denominational, and Baptist. For the last five years, I’ve stuck with AG churches and have been a member of one for a year now.

Church to me, is not only a building you go to every Sunday and/or Wednesday. Church is about having fellowship with other believers and getting involved with ministries. I believe that a person can have a relationship with God and not attend church, but I think church is important because being around other believers and listening to sermons helps me to stay on track in my relationship with God. Instead of referring myself as a “church chaser,” I think of myself as a “God chaser.” Rather than trying to find my place in a particular church, it’s more important to grow in a relationship with God.