Is Opening Up on Social Media Synonymous with Opening a Can of Worms?
“The internet acts like a kind of digital-fueled alcohol, freeing us to say things to strangers that we would never dare to say if we met them.” Jane Wakefield, “Why are people so mean to each other online?” bbc.com
Just this afternoon, I posted on a Facebook group some sad news about having to make the hard decision of returning my dog to the shelter where I had adopted her. This group (which is open to Facebook users internationally) is a group of dog owners I have belonged to for several years. In the past, several users have dealt with bullying from other users about how they handle their dogs. Although, I have dealt with people being mean to me on Facebook before, today just took the cake.
I won’t go into the woes of the kind of year I have had, but some of the hardest things I’ve dealt with this year were the passing of my basset hound back in March and recently, I had a dog adoption that did not work out after almost two months. She had the problem of jumping over the fence numerously and my mother and I felt that we had no other choice. I am not in a place where I want to talk about it to people I know, so I use Facebook to open up about some struggles in certain groups I belong to. Some of these groups include: a dog owners’ group revolved around a specific breed, a group of single women in my age group, and in the past a few support groups with some issues I struggle with. Hardly anyone in these groups is from my hometown so it makes opening up easier for me. I never see these people, except on Facebook.
So why do my feelings get hurt when the people I will never see in person type cruel comments? Would these same people say such cruel stuff to the people they see in person? I highly doubt it because they have more guts to do certain things behind a computer screen or a Smart phone. Why do I try to open myself up on online support groups or mutual interest groups when I already have the support of people who love me and interact with me in person? I don’t have an easy answer for that.
I also notice how people are not afraid to post about their political and religious beliefs. I admit that I do find sharing my faith on social media easier than sharing it in person. Dealing with face-to-face rejection seems harder than online rejection. Or does it? For crying out loud, I have been in tears this afternoon thanks to some cruel comments about my decision to return my dog to the place where I adopted her. After seeing about five or six hurtful comments from people I will never see, I immediately deleted my post. I did not thoroughly read each comment because I felt wounded enough. I looked for one of the administrators of this group and messaged her about the situation. She lives in another country, so I don’t know when I’ll hear back from her. She and the other admins have dealt with this issue so I am not worried about how she may respond to me.
Other times I have tried to open up about something personal within one of these groups or I share a post to my page, I often don’t know what to expect. Sometimes, I unintentionally open up a can of worms. People who know me well know that I am not out to purposely offend or hurt others. As for the ones that have posted cruel comments, either they know who I am but don’t know me well or they are members of my interest groups and do not know me at all. Although I try not to take what they say too personally, there are times where the meanness of social media just hurts.
Then there are plenty of times I wonder if anyone ever reads my blog posts that I share on Facebook. I also wish more people would “like,” “love,” or even “laugh” at some of my quotes (usually I steal them from other memes) on Facebook. I have lots of inspiring stuff to say, but I feel as though nobody seems to care. Now, when I post a selfie or a picture of my fur babies, I get way more responses. Are people more visually stimulated and would rather look at pictures than have to actually “read” a post? I find that if I post something that has more words than a shorter post with a colorful background, I hardly get any reactions or comments. The posts with the visually appealing backgrounds get way more responses. Oh, the woes of being a writer, but that’s who I am and I am not changing to get more reactions from others.
Another social media rejection I have faced in the past was online dating. That will make for another blog post.
Here are some articles I found online that I think will be of interest to someone, that is, if anyone even reads my blogs at all.
Is there a psychological reason for people being mean on the Internet?
Why are people so mean to each other online?
