The Singles' Life: Part 1

Right now I am working on my second book which is a devotional for single people. Since I have not been able to find any devotional books specifically for singles, I have decided to start writing one. Although I am in an undefined season in my life, I feel the need to be encouraging to other single people as well as be encouraged. I've been following up on blogs about the single life of Christians and wish that I had seen those blogs several years earlier when I was miserable about my single (for far too long) status. These blogs have given me encouragement and have also made me laugh because I can totally relate to the author's feelings and their experiences. After reading a few lists of things single people get tired of hearing, I thought of some clever responses and would like to share them but first, I would like to share those "wonderful" things I have been tired of hearing from people about being single. Here's a list I have created a few years ago.

Things Single People Get Tired of Hearing

1. Enjoy your time while you're still single.

Maybe this would be encouraging to hear while I was in my late teens or twenties, but with a somewhat ticking biological clock, I do NOT want to hear this. So I just decided to stop complaining about my long-time single status unless I'm commiserating with other single people.

2. Playing matchmaker when people know you are single and saying, "I'm probably the world's worst matchmaker…but I know someone you might be interested in…" You end up hearing a sob story about that person's life.

Luckily people who know me well have gotten the hint that I do not share their tastes in men. Next time they want to fix me up, I will simply say, "Tell me about this person and I'll pray about it." If I like what this person has to say about their "choice" for me, then maybe I'll give the guy a chance. I don't have to marry him.

3. "Being single is so hard. I wouldn't want to be single."

Please do not remind me. I am trying to be content where I'm at in my life right now.

4. "Maybe God has a reason for you to be single."

Hopefully for a season.

5. "You know you're not getting any younger. If you want to have kids, you better hurry up and find someone."

Why should I settle for just anyone so I can have a kid or two? I must love the man first and want to marry him.

6. "If you want to find someone decent, you need to move to a bigger city, go to a different church…"

It doesn't matter where I have lived or what church I have attended. Big city or small town, I have not met anyone special yet.

7. "No one will want to date you if they know you still live with your parents."

Luckily, I only heard this comment once but it still stings at times. I think it's more socially acceptable for a woman to live with her parents than for a man. However, everyone's circumstances vary. By living with my mother, at least the guy will get acquainted with her much sooner than if I had lived elsewhere.

8. "If you want to find someone you need to lose weight, change your wardrobe, act this way, that way…"

Luckily, this comment has never been directed at me but other singles have told me that they have heard this comment. If being skinny with a great wardrobe determined whether people got dates, then there would be far more single people than there are right now.

9. "You are not going to find anyone by waiting. You might need to date a lot of people before you find the right person."

Since I already know what I like and don't like, I refuse to waste my time going on numerous dates especially if I already know I don't want to date that person. I don't see many serial daters getting married.

10. "You don't need a man (or a woman) because Jesus is your husband."

Although this statement is true and as a Christian, I am the bride of Christ, this does not really comfort me. I consider Jesus far more than a husband.

11. "Stay single because the end is near."

The end has been near for many years. If every single celibate person bought into this philosophy then there would not be many people on this earth right now. I believe that God wants us to live our lives fully (further your education, enjoy your friendships and family, get married, have children, etc.) as we prepare for Jesus' return.

In my next blog I would like to show other lists of what singles are tired of hearing and give my response to each comment.